respond well to ” If you had 3 wishes, what would they be?” Learn to be comfortable with silence and the peace of your presence. Many thanks for he above suggestions to replace simply, “I’m sorry.”. Take dinner over, walk their dog for them, invite them over to watch tv, offer to grab a couple of things for them at the grocery. I also don’t know what someone is comfortable doing, so if you really want to help, pick something you can do and offer a specific time (i.e. Each have been very comforting in their own way. I can’t even imagine” Also offer help and mean. They need your friendship and support and simply staying in touch with them is invaluable. I’m sorry. As a terminal cancer patient myself, I agree with many of the previous suggestions. Hope is a Master Key when it comes to healing. Give me a reason not to come : to visit you, to help you in the yard, stay with _____ while you run errands or get some exercise, etc. ?I just want to see you. Wow I sure appreciate the insight to these words. Caregivers often need time of respite, and could use someone to stay with the ill person for several hours. Good grief! Last year December I was told I had mild emphysema-Copd. I was caring for my Mother had dementia along with a long history of mental illness and diabetes, my son whom was having emotional problems associated with Autism and I was going through menpause. I’ve been through 5 family deaths in 5 years and truly appreciated when people did something—got my mail, made meals, took care of the dog, did wash, mowed lawn/weeded, got groceries, offer their professional services for free—driving, financial advice/help, hair/nails…you get the picture! In a world that constantly tells us positive thinking will change everything and that we get what we “attract “ this made a huge difference. I’d hold her hand and smile. You can contact Dr. Peter Wise for your healing via peterwiseherbalcenter @ gmail. Really these are some magical words for patient, I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in June 2016, I am in a wheelchair and have a lot of spasms. It’s the reminders that “God loves you, and so do I”. Do. In people with dementia, the same deficiencies can fuel sudden outbursts and aggressive impulses. Can I support you by going to treatment with you? Found inside – Page 17Name Address Registration Number Birthdate Sex Patient's occupation ( previous , if not employed ) Education Estimated intelligence ( based on education ... Just do your best . ... Count 1 through 10 out loud , then repeat 69 4 . I’m sure people have said that but it really is true. She seemed surprised that that was what I wanted, but quickly brought the aspirin to me. I hugged him, gave him a kiss, whispered good bye, and said I love you. It was a special moment for both of us. I don’t want thoughts and prayers. What can I do for you? You are in my thoughts and prayer. Found inside – Page 1659... is open to a noisy hallway, and then when the door is closed) and more formally by reading out loud a randomly arrayed series of letters and numbers (e.g., 2, A, 6, D, T, F, 9, 4, P) and asking the patient to count only the letters. You can’t go wrong. Unless you are to blame it is a futile statement. Before then, it had been possible only at autopsy by examining brain tissue under the microscope, using methods that had remained largely unchanged since physician Alois Alzheimer first described the disease that bears his name more than 100 years ago. You’ve got this! There was an error saving your display name. I’m toast. (A grief letter) I wasn’t comfortable writing a letter, but it did give me permission to tell people what I needed in any given situation. I was about to have surgery a few years ago and I had mentioned this to someone I had recently met in physical therapy. Later, another friend was also diagnosed with cancer, I asked again and sent her my e-mails too. No matter what words are offered unless it’s “I know just how you feel” I find comfort in the fact that even though someone might be uncomfortable with talking to me about my husband’s struggles they set this aside to let me know they care. They may be at the angry stage and that my include God. Also, never say, “They are in a better place now”. We will miss her is good. Are you in pain? May I pray with you? This may help by being more specific We generally ask if they would like this done and the answer is usually yes. (audible up to 750 feet/230M away) EASY INSTALLATION - Easily mounted by adhesive, tape it on the window or door then all is done! Here are five ideas for what to say to a patient or caregiver: This statement may sound simple, but it offers validation to your loved one. You are doing such a good job. All wonderful things! The months that follow a death are the hardest..the firsts are the worst! Found inside – Page 63... to be read out loud attention/speed IV Arranging Blocks the magneticblockshaveto bearranged in ascendingorderofthe ... to be replaced in their original positions attention/speed VI Counting Symbols symbols printedonatableau have to ... I’m recovering from major back surgery and down for the count. It was a great gift. I teach therapeutic communication skills and it helps to know what people find meaningful in these situations. Our vulnerable elders have civil rights in any of our dealings with them. Sometimes, just saying I’m sorry for your sadness is said through my sharing with someone in need “I will pray for you and your intentions at this time.”. Another thing NOT to say is “Everyone dies some time” NOT helpful, This is positive info my favorite is “this stinks”. And, “I’m sorry you have to go through this.”. When you make it specific, it is easier to accept the help or offer. While saying “I’m so sorry” or “So sorry about that” can be discouraging to most or to some. This is an open invitation and I will say yes whenever I am able! Laughter is good medicine. When it wasn’t me but someone else I thought offering my services was what I could do. Just check-in, and let them know you’re thinking about them, support them, and are willing to help, in whatever capacity. If it is being done in love, it will be received as such. I still get to feel useful because I either make breakfast or go out and get doughnuts & coffee for us so it also becomes a social visit too. Laugh with them. If you want or need to talk, I will listen. I wish you didn’t have to go through this. I love “this stinks!” There is nothing more powerful then stating a difficult truth with nonverbal signs of love and compassion. I have followed the healing of four friends on CaringBridge, two recovered two did not. We’ve married for 47 years May 1! A couple of days later he appeared at my office door and thanked me for visiting him, not asking him any questions nor making any comments. But it doesn’t help if we’re not. Found inside – Page 89Our patient is a retired nurse who visited the memory clinic of the VUmc Alzheimer Center at the age of 65. ... started for disturbing and incontrollable behaviors such as strong agitation, shouting, screaming, and counting out loud. She went on to share, “My mother is in Minnesota and has just learned there are no more medical alternatives for her 4th stage cancer. I remember being at the hospital with my granddaughter that was in DKA and just diagnosed with T1D while babysitting her and her siblings and her parents were on a trip to MX and trying to get home ASAP. You are strong and beautiful, Especially so is this true when our vulnerable elders are locked up against their will, all the while state parties doing this, violate IA 235B.19(7) by ignoring the mandated Emergency Order provision of Iowa law. Frankly, I do not see the problem with something like “I am so sorry about that.” I find it comforting if someone says it to me, at least. it all depends on the individual — sometimes just sitting in silence holding someone’s hand also is comforting — or sending a card in the mail is wonderful too — so many wonderful cards to choose from these days too —- blank card saying thinking of you or here’s a hug or whatever —- i love to send cards so that’s what i do —. Found inside – Page 94Some people's gait improves by providing an external rhythm, by, for example, stamp— ing the feet audibly, by counting out loud or by playing music with a rhythm appropriate to the speed of the person's gait. Sometimes gait improves by ... Her determination was her secret I believe… she never gave up or gave in. If there is anything that I can do for you, please let me know. Find all the latest news on the environment and climate change from the Telegraph. I hope that others can console me with these five steps listed above. I can’t be your social secretary. Prayer is the key because all sickness do not lead to death. I’m sorry but what is wrong with “I’m sorry”? WYFF 4 Nation's oldest WWII veteran celebrates 112th birthday. I think the best thing people have done for us is tell us they are thinking of us, praying for us. Constance took a small step forward, and said “I’ll go with you, Auntie Ruth.”. The continued engagement of experts on panels like FDA advisory committees is far more likely to ensure that any miscarriages of science are remedied sooner than later. I don’t have to beg and she knows exactly what I need. How are you feeling now? Having gone through this I simply say “God bless you”. It wasn’t a big thing but showed such care and love. “I’m here for you all the way” is good ???? I’m still in Texas, but I’m leaving on Sunday morning to go home and to be home on the 28th of May. While with the good nursing care he was getting, I didn’t really NEED any help, I was really moved when a nurse friend who lives about 45 minutes away called and said “give me a reason you don’t want me to come”. When can I come over. Humble yourself because people want to help you! In 2008, the FDA convened a meeting to discuss the utility of novel imaging methods that were then being developed to measure amyloid, the brain protein thought to be involved in Alzheimer’s dementia, to help diagnose people with the disease. I made a point of visiting her at least once and week (phone calls between). Responding with encouraging words and helps from the heart brings healing through the journey. On ‘what not to say,’ when I tell someone that I’m not going to get better and/or I AM going to get worse – and I get responses like ‘oh, you’ll get better; you’ll get stronger, you’ll see; oh no you won’t! Crying and calling out is sometimes more common in other types of dementia including vascular dementia, frontotemporal dementia, and Lewy body dementia. This just added to my grief of losing a great mother-in-law and to the rejection and pain of the separation. Thank you for your posting, and I hope my comments are helpful in some small way! And a pharmacy friend brought laxatives to help me get “moving again” after a week. A few weeks after this painful time, I found myself with him and his family at my mother-in-laws funeral. Yeah, that’s much better. When my Godfather was enduring his final days, I simply sent him a card to let him know I was thinking of him. As a 90 year old invalid (bone trouble) what I really appreciate are long phone calls or visits that keep me in touch with my world. Of course, I had no good reason to say no. “There are no words.” I also agree with Elaine McVety and others that the caregiver (or patient if able) doesn’t have the wherewithal right away to delegate things different people can do to help, and at critical times those things could change anyway. This means that present-day clinical trials testing drugs like aducanumab are far superior to those a decade ago because Alzheimer’s disease can be accurately identified early — a time when therapy is likely to have the greatest impact. The need to keep in touch is very important. Thing to do is to pray for the person and say I am sorry and to tell them God is with you in everything. I’ll save my extra time for coffee (or a beer) with a close friend that I don’t have to explain anything to and who I know is sorry without her having to say anything at all. These stories are no longer uncommon; there have been outbreaks of measles in British Columbia, Alberta, Saskatchewan and Ontario in recent years. At times hardship people asked me how they could help. Far too many of our states vulnerable elders have been Isolated, Medicated and their Estates taken. All she said (at first) was “Fuck.” Not conventional and in most cases certainly not recommended. Avoid personal finances and expensive repairs that’ll most likely be delayed because of the sudden serious illness to the individual most affected, especially if its a small child or adult facing what in all likelihood could be the final illness. In my group of increasingly aging women the most caring first comment is “Well, shit!” Followed by “Do you want chocolate or butterscotch on your sundae?”. Last week’s controversial decision by the FDA to give aducanumab, Biogen’s Alzheimer’s drug, accelerated approval turned the spotlight on the role of FDA advisory committees. I just wanta punch the forced ‘happy outlook’ people. Those really stuck with me and brought me some happiness. Today, tomorrow. If you do massage or bodywork, that is an incredible gift to offer as well. May I suggest that “Circumstances alter cases. I thoughts and prayers are continually with you. “I wish you didn’t have to go through all this”. Suggest next week or month etc. Sure, maybe eventually it will be true, but how does the speaker know it will be all right. I know it’s hard for you and your family to share this, but know we are behind you 100%. Thank you for these tips I have used them twice already and it even felt better saying it stinks. PLEASE never say, “let me know if there’s anything I can do for you…” It puts all the pressure back on the person suffering to reach out and ask for help–which no one likes to do. Then let’s just kick the s**t out of Plan B!” For the right person, like me, this is the absolute best! Keep your chin up! Doing instead of saying. Really! I invite myself over and bring her lunch. Offers of prayers are the best! And I also like it when someone offers a specific form of help…I can bring dinner next Tuesday, I can come over tomorrow to help around the house, etc. We had the most amazing friends who brought in meals, visited us, and loved us through those days. Additionally, local and private guardians are lawfully to be preferred to a state sponsored guardian and especially so the Office of Substitute Decision Maker (OSDM), which is still attempting to seize estates and Trusts even though laws for OSDM have changed during the 2018 Session. We worry too much about what to say because we can’t tolerate our seeming helplessness. If you don’t hear from them do something non intrusive to let them know you’re thinking of them – leave a helium balloon or flowers and a note on the porch. ?” When my wife was in the hospital for several months recovering from total paralysis, visits from immediate family members were appreciated the most. She lives with us but I’m in my 70s and having a very hard time as she is progressing to not being able to walk, so I have to lift her. I sit with him and hold his hand. tough break but we can fight together! I love you. It’s always hard to know what to say, but sorry has always been good. I do not think there is necessarily an absolute when dealing with people. He sat motionless while his son made copious notes as I spoke, rarely taking his eyes off the notepad, his writing punctuated only by fleeting grimaces as I explained how I had arrived at the diagnosis, what we knew about the inevitable progression of the disease and the limited benefits of medications for symptomatic treatment of Alzheimer’s. I’m there for you. There’s only so many of these encounters your docs can pull you out of the boneyard.” But it was her, and a heartfelt expression of, “oh no, how could this happen,” and, it made me laugh, something very appreciated at that moment. Follow with sending a card and a note. Sometimes the sufferer – and the caregiver – can be paralyz d by open ended questions. Show up. “Words aren’t sufficient at this time.” “How devastating!” “I admire your strength and courage.” I’m praying for you As a single person with no family who is living with cancer, what I most appreciate are the friends who will ask me if I want to do lunch or supper or go to a movie or some other activity. I want you to know that I will be praying for healing and peace for you [and in the case of a caregiver, name and relationship of the patient to the caregiver]. Laughing always reduces my stress. Give hugs. Offer specific help rather than “if there’s anything I can do.” If you can do something say, “I’d like to do this for you”…. A person dealing with an illness may not see the need for help at first, but this question provides an open invitation if and when a person becomes ready to accept. I want to just wrap my arms around you. These suggestions are very useful. Over the past two weeks, my wife, sons and myself to see him, which pleased him so much. Just saying do you need anything, most responses will be no because we are not going to say specifically what we would like. Unless the person coming to visit me in the hospital knows I’m no fan of to begin with, there’s little or no point in making any announcement or description about their feelings towards my stroke as I was laying in a very uncomfortable mechanical bed that seemed more intent on devouring me in toto, lock stock n’ barrel viz a viz that single blood clot which eventually took three weeks out of my life — for starters — on my way to recovery. I’m so glad you’ve told me. A free CaringBridge online health journal allows you to update everyone at once and offers a scheduling tool to help you coordinate caring tasks. We all know someone who had something but it’s about ME not so and so. But pity really made things worse and more depressing for me, after always being such a strong independent woman. Starting the day with a good laugh!!!! Listening & being there for someone is the most important thing that one can do ~ Saying “I love you” and letting the person know that you are there for him is the kindest way to show support. Thank you so much for this guidance. I just lost my father this week at 84. Can’t wait until you are back in the saddle again! It’s a free, easy to use online journal for sharing health information with your family and friends. Long stories about your dead wife’s by-pass surgery are about you. A friend called and offered to stop at Panera for soup and came to the hospital to sit and eat soup with me. Found inside – Page 1659... is open to a noisy hallway, and then when the door is closed) and more formally by reading out loud a randomly arrayed series of letters and numbers (e.g., 2, A, 6, D, T, F, 9, 4, P) and asking the patient to count only the letters. Words are really difficult at a time like that. The high satisfaction rate is set by our Quality Control Department, which checks all papers before submission. I’m here to help! Plagiarism. It has been very hard to have people ask, “Let me know if there is anything I can do.” Like others have said, it puts the responsibility on me to initiate and organize help. Merilyn. Found inside – Page 273Ask the patient to count out loud from 1 to 10. If the patient fails the swallowing assessment or is too drowsy to swallow, then insert a NG tube. It is important to remember that swallowing may be normal soon after stroke but become ... Loneliness – Dementia can be extremely isolating. You never know how long it’s been since someone’s heard those words. It was priceless. She agreed. So when you see a caregiver reassure them they are still a person first who happens to be a caregiver. As a caregiver of my husband with liver cancer the most comforting are those that call – just to let us know they love us, share stories of what is going on in their life and using words that validate the difficulties of this trial. You might be the object of the pain and suffering, but others around you are being impacted and that is most often for a greater good. Depending on the recipient and/or the situation, sometimes a genuine hug or hand grasp will suffice. The first words out of my mouth as we were hugging were ” what the heck.” She responded immediately with, “I know. Is there anything else, besides praying for you, that I can do to help you? Please feel free to share with the CaringBridge community and join us in helping patients and caregivers feel the love. Both are available through Stephen Ministeries. He said he had learnt there were other complications besides the infections. She has , at last count, 165 in her brain. “May I bring you dinner? I am sure that this scenario is being played out in physician’s offices across the country. SO USEFUL It would prove to be a century of unimaginable change, progress, and tragedy, and my mother, the child Constance Beryl Horton, would witness most of it. Found insideThe goal of End of Life: Helping with Comfort and Care is to provide guidance and help in understanding the unfamiliar territory of death. It’s just not fair and very difficult to go through these things. Never say to someone in a tough spot, “I know how you feel.” You cannot possibly know, even if you have been through a similar situation. If you choose the latter approach, that’s what we believers call surrendering. Would you like me to massage your feet ? The average quality score at our professional custom essay writing service is 8.5 out of 10. Hospital mergers and acquisitions are a bad deal for patients. Just thinking of you and wanted to let you know. My body rejected the implants and I had yet another surgery to remove the implants. How about I cook Sunday dinner? Found inside – Page 8... words slowly out loud Able to follow slow, simple instructions Able to speak in short sentences or phrases; able to make needs known Able to sort, stack objects and do repetitive behaviors Able to sing, move to music, count Able to ... Keep in touch! SHOW UP. I just appreciated anyone who asked about him or how I was doing. why is not the request to pray about the problem not asked for? Thank you Dr. Peter Wise for this great healing. Found inside – Page 240Further, safety alarms, loud talking staff-members, and patients with insomnia or “sundowner's” dementia tend to keep noise levels up constantly throughout the night. “Unnecessary noise... hurts patients...[doing] them more serious and ... *Your work has meant so much to us. Why aren’t they being stopped? Friends are forever, during the good and the difficult times. They also talked about all the good attributes my brother had – all good things, it was such a comfort! Perhaps by being more specific this can bring more comfort than the generic ‘we’re praying for you’ though, in my personal experience as the wife of a stage 4 cancer survivor, prayers of all kinds were welcome. We want to hear it from you! I’m here for you, whatever I can do to help you through this I will! I and my family will be praying for you everyday to have the courage and hope to win this battle. The final check includes: Compliance with initial order details. And, don’t forget about the survivors after. This to shall pass ,ur strong I love u, For me being in my 4th battle of nsclc hearing, “Oh no not again.” Or “When will this end?” Has been difficult because I am feeling it will probably end when I am no longer here. It was exciting to see three pharmaceutical companies present preliminary findings from small studies using PET imaging of the brain. 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